im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
