I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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