doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
