if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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