I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
