omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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