We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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