remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
