You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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