it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
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When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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