Nicole vs. Life
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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