like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
