I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
