if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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