IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
