went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
