guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
