awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize