I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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