i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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