After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
