I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
