Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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