i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
