school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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