We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i think im in europe. pls send help
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
