The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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