Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Oh god it's open bar.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
