Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
