Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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