ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
