well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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