He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize