she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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