Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
