ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
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She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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