Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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