I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
