I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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