You're so nebulous sometimes
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So many bounce houses so little time
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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