thus making me awesome and them whores
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
