i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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