I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
