You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
thus making me awesome and them whores
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
as a side note pls kill me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
