Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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