Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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