you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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