You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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