watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
