Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
smell my finger.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just blew my weed a kiss
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
