pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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