You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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