I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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