i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
