Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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