her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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