wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
