Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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