READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
