gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
