I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
