K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
