we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize