New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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