just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
