I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
