what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
